


Nocturne

by sunshinesubarus



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 03:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20885537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinesubarus/pseuds/sunshinesubarus
Summary: As soon as Mao says that, Ritsu feels his head go into overdrive. He tries to connect everything together, because there’s no way in hell that this is real. As they stop, he looks into Mao’s eyes. The cherry blossoms caught in the wind. He can see the sun beginning to set behind Mao, casting a golden glow that reflects off of his skin beautifully.No one had ever told him how well emerald and gold would go together.





	Nocturne

**Author's Note:**

> happy angstober!
> 
> day two prompt - you said you loved me

It’s been two years.

Two years since they’d started talking again and Ritsu finds himself itching to run off the plane as soon as it lands on the tarmac. It had taken him too long to save up the money to visit his friend, well he doesn’t know what they are considering how they’ve never actually talked about it or had the conversation. But there’s a feeling in his gut telling him that he hadn’t misread anything. 

It’d be silly to do this for someone who was just a friend, who would fly to another country for their friend? It feels stupid to ask, but he knows that he would. Though he doesn’t think that Mao’s a friend. It’s obvious to everyone, according to his friends back home, the way he lights up when his phone dings with a message from Mao. He always drops everything for his friend, though it was never because it was what Mao wanted, they weren’t like that. It was because he wanted to drop everything for him, and Ritsu’s ready to do that.

They haven’t had the conversation yet, and Mao probably will never want to have it. He’s noticed that even over text, Mao’s someone who’s rather guarded about where his loyalties lie. The glass of the window is cold against his fingers as he presses his hand against it. He leans his head down to look through the window. A metal arm with what he assumes is a walkway slowly extending to connect to the door on the side of the plane. He waits patiently, watching as everything goes on outside. His bag already out from underneath the seat in front of him. He doesn’t remember the last time he’d been in Japan. It’ll be nice to walk through home again, to speak the language and not have to be afraid that there’ll be people who won’t understand him.

But what he’s most excited about is seeing Mao…he’d missed him. The two of them had almost lost contact, the thought was enough to make Ritsu go cold. If he didn’t have Mao in his life, he has no idea where he’d be now. Nerves take over, filling him from the tips of his feet to the very top of his head. His stomach starts to flip, his vision goes blurry. It’s almost too much, he knows that within the next hour he’ll be in Mao’s arms again, for the first time since they were children. A slight ding is heard throughout the cabin, and immediately everyone stands up. The sound of the overhead lockers opening and shutting creating an ugly clanging. Ritsu rushes out from his window seat, immediately waiting in line behind those that were in front of him.

For the first time, he doesn’t find himself wanting to stay seated and asleep. It’s odd, the only thing he isn’t particularly excited for is the sunlight, but he can deal with it. He can deal with it because it means that he’s going to get to see Mao. Finally, after what feels like hours, the line starts moving. It’s slow, but it’s something. He starts cursing under his breath, and when he finally gets to the cabin door, he can barely manage to say thank you to the cabin crew standing there. He doesn’t wait for another second, the first thing he does is begin to run. There’s music playing through the earphones that are hanging around his neck, he can barely make it out. He tries his hardest to get through border security as quickly as possible, but with the lines from his flight, it takes around forty minutes. 

Forty minutes of shaky breathing and a squeamish stomach.

Screens above each conveyor belt tell him which one should be holding his bags. He only has the one, and he was one of the first on the plane so he can’t imagine that it’ll come out from there any time soon. He looks around the terminal, his eyes scanning the crowd looking for red hair. He doesn’t see anyone, he ignores his heart sinking as he looks at the conveyor. His bag comes along, and he notices that he gets a few dirty looks from the crowd. He just puts his earphones back in, the song playing no longer just dull background noise. He checks his phone, pulling it out from where it’s been sitting in his pocket. The notifications aren’t filtered so he has to scroll, and at the top is a message from Mao.

He begins typing out a response telling him exactly where he is as he begins walking out of the terminal. It’s as he’s at the door that he feels someone tap him on the shoulder. Turning around, he assumes that it’s because maybe something had fallen out of his pocket or his bag. Green eyes stare back into his own, and he can barely process that Mao’s standing in front of him. He’s grown up so much, enough that the two of them are almost the same height.

“M-Maa-kun?”

He pulls his earphones out; they stay around his neck. A smile blooms on his face, his eyes blurring. Ritsu stretches his arms forward, holding onto Mao tighter than ever. Emotions begin to roll over him like a wave, his body tired from travelling. 

“Yeah, it’s me.”

Mao’s hand goes into his hair, his other around Ritsu’s waist as he pulls him in close. Surreal, that’s what this experience is. He never thought he’d see Mao again, the two of them confined to screens and texts forever. His heart sinks even thinking of the idea, his chest is heaving. His fingers are digging into Mao’s clothes, and he can only cry. 

He can feel Mao crying too, neither of them would admit that they did. But Ritsu doesn’t have any other explanation for what he’s feeling drop onto his shoulder. The two of them stay like that for longer than he expected, and he finds himself feeling more at home in Mao’s arms than anywhere else. 

The sun feels too warm against his skin, and he feels his energy slowly draining but that doesn’t stop him. It just makes him feel even sleepier with the jet lag on top of it, he doesn’t find that he cares much though. Not when they’re walking along the Shakuji river, lined with gorgeous cherry blossoms that make everything look like it’s a scene taken from an anime. This is perfect, beautiful and serene. As Mao walks over to a stranger to ask them to take a photo, he finds himself realising that it’s in this moment of pure bliss that he wants to stay. He wants to stay stuck in this moment forever. Mao runs over to him, the two of them leaning against the rail behind them. Mao’s arm is lying on his hip and his other hand up in a peace sign. Ritsu doesn’t try to hide his smile, instead, he lets it show, feeling warmth in his cheeks.

Mao runs up to get the camera back, and Ritsu finds himself wondering how it would feel to run his hands through Mao’s hair. It looks so soft, and he’s only ever seen it out of the hairclip in calls. He doubts that he’d take it out in public, he finds himself wanting to play with it. Or maybe braid flowers into it. He has to look down at his feet as he imagines Mao’s hair braided with pretty daisies and pieces of lavender.

“What’re you thinking about?”

Mao’s voice pierces through, shattering his thoughts. He struggles to collect himself, his head snapping up from the ground. He meets Mao’s eyes, putting what he hopes isn’t a stupid smile on his face.

“What we should have for dinner tonight…”

It sounds like a fake response. He doesn’t even try to play it off, hoping that Mao can see through it. This time, the other takes his hand and they keep walking. The further they walk, the more flustered he finds himself getting. Mao is the only person he doesn’t feel ashamed to show affection around, not when the other is so fast to reciprocate it.

“Well, what are you in the mood for? It’ll be my shout!”

_ Wait… _

As soon as Mao says that, Ritsu feels his head go into overdrive. He tries to connect everything because there’s no way in hell that this is real. As they stop, he looks into Mao’s eyes. The cherry blossoms caught in the wind. He can see the sun beginning to set behind Mao, casting a golden glow that reflects off of his skin beautifully. 

No one had ever told him how well emerald and gold would go together. 

“Whatever you want, Maa-kun, surprise me.”

Mao smiles, wide enough to show his cheeks. Ritsu wants to do something stupid, stupid enough that it’ll put everything they took so long to curate on the line. It’s only day one, and he’s here for another week, but he wants to do it now.

_ I should kiss him. _

He moves in close, his feet shuffling forward so their toes are nearly touching. Mao’s smile doesn’t leave, and as Ritsu finally garners up the courage to try and kiss him, Mao moves. He begins to walk away from the river, leaving Ritsu bathing in cold, golden light alone as the breeze washes in from off of the river. 

He chases after Mao, catching up to him in a few seconds. The second Ritsu does, he takes Mao’s hand in his own as if a scared child. It isn’t that he’s scared of the city, it’s more that he doesn’t remember being here. He barely remembers Tokyo considering how little they’d visited, Mao had ended up there for university, which is why they’d only waited until now to meet up. It would’ve been too difficult with everything else going on.

Blaringly loud, that’s what it becomes as they move more into the city centre. He doesn’t know how Mao does it, how he remembers every little nook and cranny so well. It’s pretty, he finds that the lights hurt his eyes, but it’s pretty. Mao begins to walk with him, linking their arms together. 

“Do you remember anything about Tokyo?”

“Not particularly…We didn’t get to visit very often, but I’m glad I got to come back with you, Maa-kun.”

Ritsu swears it’s his mind playing games, but Mao’s cheeks go slightly red. His eyes widen at that before a small smile makes its way onto his face. The two of them look forwards as they keep walking.

“Ah really?”

The two of them are swallowed by the city, making their way through the urban maze of Tokyo. Until Ritsu realises that Mao’s taking them somewhere that’s just a little further out. It makes sense, considering that he always seems to have someone on the inside, or be the person on the inside. Knowing Mao, he’d probably asked someone from his course for restaurant recommendations or come to make sure it was okay before Ritsu had arrived.

It seems stupid that someone would do that just for him though. They come to a stop outside what looks like the door to a home. He doesn’t question it, trusting in Mao that this is where he’d planned to take them for dinner. Light floods from the inside, noise accompanying it with the scent of what he immediately recognises as ramen. Gurgles erupt from his stomach; he realises because he’d slept for the entire flight that he hasn’t eaten since he left America.

Ritsu feels bad, he feels bad because he’s someone who doesn’t talk much. His mind is always overthinking, or he’s lost in his thoughts. Mao doesn’t seem to mind, nor has he said anything, so he takes that as a good thing. He’s glad they had a quick stop in Mao’s apartment, it’s tinier than he’d expected but it doesn’t bother him. It’s rather cute. It suits Mao, and he wonders if he’ll ever end up living here again. It’s nice to hear a familiar language and be surrounded by familiarity. Though he doesn’t know if he’d count his current home as unfamiliar anymore. If living in Japan meant getting to go out with Mao like this then how could he say no?

“I can’t believe this…”

Shock is what Ritsu notices on Mao’s face when he begins to speak, but he doesn’t let it phase him. He’s holding his hand underneath the table, his leg is bouncing up and down to match his shaky breathing.

“Can’t believe what?”

“That I’m here, with you, after so long. I thought we’d never see each other again when my family moved, but here you are…here we are together.”

He doesn’t like speaking, maybe that’s why his voice is so quiet. There’s part of him that doesn’t want Mao to put two and two together, but there’s another that thinks his friend has to know by now. What type of person would do all this for someone who’s just a friend? Since they’d started talking again, he’s found himself so much more motivated. Mao has given him both courage and energy to do so much…

“I’m just so happy you reached out to me, Maa-kun…”

It’s as he says that their food arrives, he doesn’t even remember ordering. He pretends that his vision isn’t blurry. The words he’s been wanting to say are slowly bubbling to the surface. It feels like it’s impossible to hold back, he has to say it now. He has to tell Mao how happy he is, to share with him in this pure joy.

“I just wanted to make sure you were taking care of yourself, considering how I had to back when we were kids, Ricchan.”

That’s enough to make Ritsu feel like his heart’s about to burst. Mao’s called him it over text, or call, but he doesn’t do so often. And hearing it in real life again is completely different…it’s enough to make everything around them melt away. He has to swallow it down, swallow down the words that are itching to get out because it’s a leap of faith to bare yourself to another like that. To share with them how much you truly care for them and love them.

“Why’re you just calling me that now?”

“Because I realised I haven’t gotten to say that in real life, and you actually listen to me when I use it. So please, eat, I know you haven’t since you got on your flight.”

He hates that Mao’s right. He begins to eat, and he isn’t shocked to find that it’s …good. He begins to eat properly then, enjoying it more than anything. Relief moves through his body right away as he begins to eat, the warmth from the ramen broth and happiness combining. He doesn’t mind being out for dinner late, this once he finds himself enjoying it. 

Right now, happiness is perfectly within his grasp, and he never wants to let go.

They’d spent longer than expected having dinner, and as they walk back outside the crowds have thinned out considerably. The moon is hanging high in the sky, and tiredness is hanging onto the two of them but neither want to go back yet.

Ritsu doesn’t, he can’t yet. There’s still something he needs to say, he knows where he wants to go. It’s somewhere they visited together once, and as soon as they walk out he grabs his phone from his pocket for the first time. He walks in front of Mao with confidence, leading them through the night. 

It was a pretty walk to Mori Gardens, and nice to see the lights of Tokyo bleed into the night sky. He turns around when they arrive at the gates, turning to look at Mao as the two of them make their way through the gates. There’s a smile on his face, one that’s warm and kind. It looks almost cold in the moonlight, but Ritsu does his best to stay strong. They walk together, hand in hand. Nerves begin to settle. Every text, every call where he’d been aching to let this out coming to the front of his mind. Overwhelmed, and shaking, he leads Mao to a small area that overlooks the cherry blossom trees and the small pond in the night sky. It’s a gorgeous sight, the moonlight reflecting gorgeously off of the pond’s surface.

He turns to face Mao, trying his very best to look him in the eye but he can’t do it. Not when he can hear his heart beating in his ears, not when his knees are shaking so much that they’re about to buckle. Words get lost, his head is reeling, he feels warm despite the fact that it’s so cold. The night is his time, everyone knows that but right now he wishes he was in bed rather than about to do this.

“Maa-kun…”

His voice is the only one, there’s no one else there. It’s just them, only them, he can’t hide anything. Everything’s about to be put on the table.

“I love you, Maa-kun.”

“Ricchan…”

“I love you because you make me happy, you make me smile, you’re the only person who can do that. You make me want to get out of bed, you make me want to do better than I am. Maa-kun, you’re so precious to me, and I love you more than anything and I know…I know that you love me, you said you loved me.”

Ritsu ignores the tears tracking down his face as he looks up at Mao, and instead of the warm smile that he’d been expecting there’s only a sad smile. A smile so filled weighed down that the corners of it aren’t quite reaching Mao’s cheeks.

“Ricchan, I’m sorry but I never said I loved you like that, we’re just friends, nothing more, now let’s just have a good trip together, because I missed you, really, I did, Ricchan. I’m sorry but I don’t love you like that, I don’t even know where you got the idea, I know I said it, and maybe that was my mistake."

For some reason, Ritsu smiles back. He tries not to let it be tainted with sadness, he tries to make the heartache invisible. 

“It’s okay Maa-kun, I forgive you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> please be kind to me 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/riotwoIves) | [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/riotwolves)


End file.
